- Do you feel that you received a lack of guidance in developing your sexuality?
- Are your unanswered questions about your sexuality leading to challenges with self-esteem or intimacy?
- Do you feel like your sexuality is non-normative or different than that of others, and does that lead to feelings of isolation?
- Are challenges in your relationship or marriage causing you and your partner distress, and are the issues you’re facing too private to discuss with friends or family?
Your sexuality is an important and beautiful part of your core identity. It’s also highly unique, personal, and complex.
When your relationship with your own sexuality is strained, nonexistent, or traumatized, it can affect your self-esteem as well as your most important relationships. Culturally, we are moving towards talking more openly about sexuality; however, when adults who are in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s or beyond were growing up, models of healthy sexuality were more scarce.
Apart from some cursory conversation with our parents about the birds and the bees, and some diagrams in Sex Ed about STDs and pregnancy, many of us were left to fend for ourselves when it came to understanding our own sexuality and forming meaningful sexual relationships with others. Your concept of yourself as a sexual being also may have been informed by cultural messages (such as gender roles) or religious teachings. Some of us went on to get married (potentially to partners who had just as little guidance as we did), only to find that we were just as in the dark about our sexuality as before! Or maybe you began to have sexual experiences without ever connecting to your own sexual desires and feelings.
Challenges with your sexuality, whether solo or partnered, can include anxiety or uncertainty around sex, body image issues, and lack of sexual desire or promiscuous behavior. Sexuality is complicated and multifaceted, and can be informed by past relationships, co-occurring mental health concerns, or traumatic experiences. In a relationship, a couple could have hurdles like clashing sex drives (high vs. low), different feelings about certain kinks or fantasies, or trust issues from past relationships or from recovering from infidelity in the relationship.
At Take Root Therapy, we provide a non-judgmental environment, where we can tailor therapy, including therapy focused on sexuality, to each individual or couple. Whether you’re an individual who would like some guidance in better understanding and accepting your sexuality, or part of a couple who would like some support through sexual health counseling or marriage counseling in order to improve the sexual dynamics in your relationship, we can help.