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coping patterns

Getting Past the Inner Critic

Can I Move Towards My Goals While Resisting Perfectionism?: Getting Past the Inner Critic

anxiety therapy, coping patterns, depression therapy, relationship challenges, trauma therapy, work stress
This past fall, we moved some things around in our previously neglected backyard. We thought having a dedicated play space would help our kids, as well as afford us more breathing room during the pandemic. I began starting evenings with vision boards, shopping lists, and poring over Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for deals. I wanted to make sure anything we bought fit the greater “vision.”…
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Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

How Do We Keep Going In Hard Times?: Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

coping patterns, depression, relationship challenges,
Our resilience increases as we recognize the magnitude of what we have already accomplished. -Patricia O’Gorman Do you remember last December? I do, but it feels like a million years away. This has been a year of many adjustments. Only a week ago, I felt like I was staring down the barrel of another lockdown. Today, I’m still reeling, but feel a glimmer of optimism…
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Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong

Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong? The Short Answer: Yes

anxiety therapy, communication challenges, coping patterns, depression therapy, family dynamics, relationship challenges, , trauma therapy
I’m a therapist, but I’ve also been in and out of therapy since I was quite little. I’ve worked with some therapists that were helpful, some that were unhelpful, and some that, looking back now, I can see did more harm than good. In my teens and early 20s, what I would often do if my therapist said something that hurt me (or they seemed…
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Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

Calling Them In: Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, family dynamics, relationship challenges,
I wasn’t looking forward to Father’s Day this year. While I missed my father and planned to see him, I knew we would have to take additional precautions– wearing masks for the duration of our time together, meeting outdoors, and maintaining six feet of distance. This makes it hard to connect, especially with my children present. And given that I had been thinking about the…
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The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

Start Where You Are: The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, family dynamics, relationship challenges,
I will be the first to admit that I have had to do some hard work recently, and that until the past couple of weeks, I was not always actively thinking about or challenging my own privilege. While I considered myself a feminist and an ally, there was a lot that was happening in our country and that happened in our history, that I didn’t…
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Adapting Without Acclimating

Adapting Without Acclimating: Keeping Your Imagination Alive

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, depression therapy, grief counseling, trauma therapy
I visited India in my early twenties. When I first got there, I didn’t think I would be able to handle it. I had never really traveled before, and I was used to daily hot showers and sleeping in my own bed every night. Backpacking, eating unfamiliar foods, traveling by rickshaw… it was all way out of my comfort zone. Yet after a week or…
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Getting Through (Another) Day in Social Isolation

What Do You Need? Getting Through (Another) Day in Social Isolation

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, depression therapy, grief counseling, trauma therapy
How did you feel when you clicked on this article? Hopeful? Anxious? Overwhelmed? My email inbox and social media feeds have been full of tips on getting through quarantine and countless examples of folks making the most of their time at home. As I scroll through sourdough bread recipes and exercise routines, I find myself feeling both overwhelmed and angry. Then I remind myself that…
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Life in the Time of a Pandemic

Life in the Time of a Pandemic: How to Stay Sane while Keeping Safe

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, depression therapy,
Until the past few days, I was feeling both very detached about the news continuing to overwhelm my inbox, and simultaneously feeling afraid. Over the past 48 hours, my response has began to change, as there seems to have been a national realization of the seriousness of the situation. Is it possible to at once avoid checking out or panicking? How can we meet this…
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To Touch and Be Touched: Physical Connection and Mental Health

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, depression therapy, relationship challenges,
When you think of troublemaking middle schoolers, you might picture them doing things like smoking or talking back to adults. When I was in the 6thgrade, while those things were happening too, we often got in trouble for– wait for it – excessive hugging. That’s right, our school administrators had to reprimand us for being late to class because we were busy giving each other…
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Preparing For Hard Conversations

When Your Emotions Are “Too Hot”: Preparing For Hard Conversations

anxiety therapy, coping patterns, depression therapy, relationship challenges, , trauma therapy
Sometimes things come up in our relationships that we have to confront. This can be really heavy and scary, especially since most of us don’t enjoy conflict. Oftentimes, we either avoid it, perhaps indefinitely (like ghosting someone over text message) or, since we’re frightened of it, we try to get it over with as quickly as possible (like putting a wall up immediately, saying something…
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