family dynamics

Should I Start a Diet?: Rethinking Your Relationship with Your Body

While it may not have been the first time I was critical of my body, the first time I remember being critical of my body, or of objectifying my own body, is when I was 8-years-old. I was watching something on TV and it was definitely not a show for children. On the show, the it-girl started talking about her weight loss, going as far…
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Image of two individuals with trash bags picking up litter off of the beach. Both are dressed in warm clothing and are wearing gloves.

Is Doing Good Good for You?: The Effects of Philanthropy and Giving on Mental Health

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others?” — Martin Luther King, Jr. The end of the year can be a time of stress for many. Spending time with family, while joyful for some, can still carry its own challenges and complications. The holidays can be quite loaded, and planning for the holidays can bring up fears, sadness, and feelings…
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Image of the shape of a person under the covers in bed. Superimposed on this image is a quasi-transparent image of a woman with her head back to depict layers of grief.

How Do I Know if This is Grief?: Understanding and Honoring Grief In All Shapes, Sizes, and Seasons

Over the past 20 months I have watched more TV and movies than I had in years. They offered me a way to cope, a distraction, and space to process. Unsurprisingly, the common theme in a lot of the shows and films I watched last year was grief. It just couldn’t be escaped. Animated films, TV shows… grief was everywhere. I suspect that’s because we…
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Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?

Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?: Interdependence 101

What does it mean to “need” others (and to be needed in return) the exact right amount? Even though I’m a therapist myself, I’ve struggled with this in my own relationships. When I was younger, I sometimes relied on my romantic relationships for validation and sense of self, and was often crushed when I didn’t feel supported enough. Now, I’m in a different place: I’m…
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How Can I Get Along With My Family This Holiday Season?

How Can I Get Along With My Family This Holiday Season? Start With Acceptance

With the holidays right around the corner, and with the pandemic prompting us to recommit to social distancing, family has been on my mind a lot recently. And if your family is anything like mine, the polarization and stress of this year is making our relationships feel even more intense than usual. Everything feels heightened. It makes me think about the human proclivity towards black-and-white…
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5 Reasons Why We Recommend Weekly Therapy

Do I Need To Go To Therapy Every Week?: 5 Reasons Why We Recommend Weekly Therapy

My last session with a therapist was months ago. It wasn’t supposed to be months ago— at the end of our last session, I told him my schedule was tight the following week and he said, “Well, give me a call when you want to schedule something.” Even though I’m a therapist myself and I know the positive impact therapy has on my anxiety and…
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5 Tips for Learning How to Accept Help

Do You Worry That You’re A Burden?: 5 Tips for Learning How to Accept Help

“I don’t want to bother anybody.” “I don’t want to be a burden.” “I should be able to do it myself.” We are currently experiencing many layers of loss and overwhelm. For most of us, it’s a loss of normalcy in general: we don’t have the activities or the routines we’re used to. We may be feeling stretched by new work demands and remote school…
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Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong

Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong? The Short Answer: Yes

I’m a therapist, but I’ve also been in and out of therapy since I was quite little. I’ve worked with some therapists that were helpful, some that were unhelpful, and some that, looking back now, I can see did more harm than good. In my teens and early 20s, what I would often do if my therapist said something that hurt me (or they seemed…
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Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

Calling Them In: Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

I wasn’t looking forward to Father’s Day this year. While I missed my father and planned to see him, I knew we would have to take additional precautions– wearing masks for the duration of our time together, meeting outdoors, and maintaining six feet of distance. This makes it hard to connect, especially with my children present. And given that I had been thinking about the…
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The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

Start Where You Are: The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

I will be the first to admit that I have had to do some hard work recently, and that until the past couple of weeks, I was not always actively thinking about or challenging my own privilege. While I considered myself a feminist and an ally, there was a lot that was happening in our country and that happened in our history, that I didn’t…
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