family dynamics

Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?: Defining and Challenging Imposter Syndrome

April 21, 2023

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-image, social support

I saw my first private practice client over ten years ago. I had earned a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from a university I had wanted to attend since I was 12; I had completed my Master’s Degree and then worked as a therapist for 3,000 hours under a supervisor before taking and passing not one but two licensing exams, and I had participated in tons…

When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

March 23, 2023

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-image, social support, trauma, trauma therapy

As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…

What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

February 27, 2023

I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…

Why Can’t I Love Myself?: Learning to Develop a Loving Relationship with Yourself

January 26, 2023

anxiety counseling, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-care, self-image, social support, trauma, trauma therapy

There have been periods in my life when I didn’t necessarily like myself, much less love myself. After brutal breakups, when I wasn’t accepted into the college of my choice (or any of the places I had applied to, to be honest), when I lose my temper or am unkind to someone I care about, and when I am just struggling. Showing myself love is…

Two people sitting back to back with one facing the camera with a stern expression while the other looks away

How Do I Deal with Toxic Family Members?: The Mental and Emotional Toll of Navigating Harmful Family Relationships

December 22, 2022

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, grief counseling, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-care, self-image, social support, trauma therapy

In my family, we learned that blood is thicker than water. Our relationships with each other were to be prized, no matter the cost. So years ago, when I saw an Instagram post by another therapist I follow, a white one, suggesting that if you have a harmful family member, you should cut them out just like you would a malignant tumor, I was shocked!…

image of a person being embraced by another

What Makes It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?: Why We Avoid Vulnerability and Why We Should Stop

September 29, 2022

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, social support, trauma therapy

During a particularly difficult month, I had dinner with a dear friend who was going through a heart-wrenching breakup. He told me the details about the dissolution of his relationship, and I was honored to support him. Then he asked me how I’d been doing. After hearing about his pain and fears about the future, I questioned how much I wanted to share. While I…

Why Am I Afraid to Fail?: How Our Fear of Failure Can Hinder Growth

August 25, 2022

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, social support, trauma therapy

Why do we fear failure? When I began building my practice, I was excited. I was working a full-time job at a non-profit mental health center, tutoring and facilitating psychotherapy groups at an intensive outpatient program. My plate was already full, but I was eager to have my own practice so I could do the clinical work how I wanted to. As my practice grew,…

What is Intergenerational Trauma?: Understanding the Impacts of Intergenerational Trauma on Mental Health

May 28, 2022

anxiety counseling, communication challenges, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-image, trauma, trauma therapy

A few weeks ago, my mother accompanied my children and me on an errand. We were in a familiar store, and my 6-year-old went up the escalator ahead of us and then walked off. My mother started to panic and stormed up the escalator, muttering that someone would take off with my daughter. At that moment, I, too, had felt unnerved but was trying to…

How Do I Manage My Anger?: Tips for Emotional Regulation in a Time of Collective Moral Outrage

April 22, 2022

communication challenges, coping patterns, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-care, self-image, trauma

To say that these last few years have been difficult would be an understatement. In addition to living through the worst public health crisis this planet has seen for centuries, we’ve witnessed a global social justice movement aimed at combating various forms of systemic and institutionalized oppression that were further exposed by the pandemic, devastating humanitarian crises in Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Ukraine (just to…

two clear hands held out in front of a face that is blurry to communicate boundaries and saying no

How Do I Set Boundaries?: Learning to Care for Yourself by Advocating for Your Needs

March 18, 2022

anxiety counseling, boundaries, communication challenges, depression therapy, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-care, self-image

While the term boundary gets used often these days, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to understand what boundaries are necessarily, or what it takes to establish and reinforce them. My eldest started playing basketball this year, and while I’m typically not a huge sports fan, I was invested when it came to watching her play. One of the things that I quickly learned was when…

family dynamics

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