social support

Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?

Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?: Interdependence 101

What does it mean to “need” others (and to be needed in return) the exact right amount? Even though I’m a therapist myself, I’ve struggled with this in my own relationships. When I was younger, I sometimes relied on my romantic relationships for validation and sense of self, and was often crushed when I didn’t feel supported enough. Now, I’m in a different place: I’m…
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Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

How Do We Keep Going In Hard Times?: Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

Our resilience increases as we recognize the magnitude of what we have already accomplished. -Patricia O’Gorman Do you remember last December? I do, but it feels like a million years away. This has been a year of many adjustments. Only a week ago, I felt like I was staring down the barrel of another lockdown. Today, I’m still reeling, but feel a glimmer of optimism…
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5 Reasons Why We Recommend Weekly Therapy

Do I Need To Go To Therapy Every Week?: 5 Reasons Why We Recommend Weekly Therapy

My last session with a therapist was months ago. It wasn’t supposed to be months ago— at the end of our last session, I told him my schedule was tight the following week and he said, “Well, give me a call when you want to schedule something.” Even though I’m a therapist myself and I know the positive impact therapy has on my anxiety and…
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5 Tips for Learning How to Accept Help

Do You Worry That You’re A Burden?: 5 Tips for Learning How to Accept Help

“I don’t want to bother anybody.” “I don’t want to be a burden.” “I should be able to do it myself.” We are currently experiencing many layers of loss and overwhelm. For most of us, it’s a loss of normalcy in general: we don’t have the activities or the routines we’re used to. We may be feeling stretched by new work demands and remote school…
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Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong

Can I Tell My Therapist When They Get It Wrong? The Short Answer: Yes

I’m a therapist, but I’ve also been in and out of therapy since I was quite little. I’ve worked with some therapists that were helpful, some that were unhelpful, and some that, looking back now, I can see did more harm than good. In my teens and early 20s, what I would often do if my therapist said something that hurt me (or they seemed…
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Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

Calling Them In: Talking to Your Non-Black Parents about Anti-Black Racism

I wasn’t looking forward to Father’s Day this year. While I missed my father and planned to see him, I knew we would have to take additional precautions– wearing masks for the duration of our time together, meeting outdoors, and maintaining six feet of distance. This makes it hard to connect, especially with my children present. And given that I had been thinking about the…
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The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

Start Where You Are: The Lifelong Commitment to Being An Ally

I will be the first to admit that I have had to do some hard work recently, and that until the past couple of weeks, I was not always actively thinking about or challenging my own privilege. While I considered myself a feminist and an ally, there was a lot that was happening in our country and that happened in our history, that I didn’t…
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Life in the Time of a Pandemic

Life in the Time of a Pandemic: How to Stay Sane while Keeping Safe

Until the past few days, I was feeling both very detached about the news continuing to overwhelm my inbox, and simultaneously feeling afraid. Over the past 48 hours, my response has began to change, as there seems to have been a national realization of the seriousness of the situation. Is it possible to at once avoid checking out or panicking? How can we meet this…
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To Touch and Be Touched: Physical Connection and Mental Health

When you think of troublemaking middle schoolers, you might picture them doing things like smoking or talking back to adults. When I was in the 6thgrade, while those things were happening too, we often got in trouble for– wait for it – excessive hugging. That’s right, our school administrators had to reprimand us for being late to class because we were busy giving each other…
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Preparing For Hard Conversations

When Your Emotions Are “Too Hot”: Preparing For Hard Conversations

Sometimes things come up in our relationships that we have to confront. This can be really heavy and scary, especially since most of us don’t enjoy conflict. Oftentimes, we either avoid it, perhaps indefinitely (like ghosting someone over text message) or, since we’re frightened of it, we try to get it over with as quickly as possible (like putting a wall up immediately, saying something…
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