trauma

Why Do I Feel So Alone?: Understanding the Loneliness Epidemic and Cultivating Connection as the Antidote

I was recently on a retreat for work and decided to go early to have some time for myself. As a parent and partner, I later realized this was the longest time I’d been alone in years. I didn’t have anything planned, and it was raining and, at times, totally delightful. I read a whole book, walked in the rain, stopping whenever and wherever my…
Read More

How Can I Say Goodbye?: Grieving the Loss of a Pet or Companion Animal

The first half of this lengthy article is an ode to my dog Maddie (short for Madeline). It’s the story of her life and death, and my grief. The second half will hopefully help you conceptualize pet loss and offer suggestions to help with grief if that’s what you need. But it felt important to write the first part first. If you’re looking for research…
Read More

What’s Happening to Me?: Pregnancy, Mental Health and Postpartum Challenges

Content Warning: This article includes references to suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, and other mental health challenges. Please note that while most of the research refers to birthing mothers as it relates to peripartum and postpartum mental health challenges, nonbirthing parents can also experience many of the same difficulties.  I desperately wanted to be a mother ever since I was a child. I had a baby…
Read More

Will I Ever Trust Again?: Understanding the Cost of Betrayal and Conceptualizing Recovery from Betrayal Trauma

Romantic partners have betrayed my confidence, I have felt deeply hurt and wronged by the actions of trusted colleagues, and I have friends that I am no longer in contact with due to feeling betrayed. Not a single incident is easy to recall or write about, but I can still feel the sting and remember the nights spent ruminating. I would stay up trying to…
Read More

How Do I Know if I Need Therapy?: Exploring the Benefits of Psychotherapy for Mental Health and Finding the Right Therapist

I have heard people say that therapy is a human right, and I have heard others call it a luxury. In Los Angeles, therapy can be costly if you’re hoping to see someone immediately or looking for a therapist with a specific specialization. Conversely, it can be really difficult to find a provider who is in-network with your insurance company and has availability (and availability…
Read More

Do I Have ADHD?: Understanding ADHD, What It Looks Like, and How to Befriend It

This morning, I started making my bed. In the middle of making it, I looked at the closet and noticed that my overnight bag was in the wrong place, so I picked it up to put it away in the other room. On my walk to the other room, I noticed I hadn’t finished washing the dishes, so I put the bag down to clean…
Read More

Why Do I Feel So Anxious in Social Situations?: Understanding Social Anxiety and Cultivating Connection

An old friend was recently in town, and we made plans to get together. I was nervous to see her and her partner; we hadn’t seen each other for years, and it meant a lot that we were connecting again. Then, during our time together, I made a joke that I quickly realized could be harmful. I felt my face turn red. I wasn’t sure…
Read More

How Does Gaslighting Work?: Understanding Gaslighting and Learning to Trust Yourself Again

In my twenties, I was in an abusive relationship with a partner struggling with a substance use disorder. I didn’t know what was going on until I was way too deep into the relationship, and at the time, I didn’t know enough to get him (or myself) the support necessary. What I do know is that the relationship made me my worst self. My partner…
Read More

When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…
Read More

What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…
Read More