coping patterns

Why Can’t I Get Anything Done?: The Quest to Stay Motivated

Our team recently read a meditation book, which prompted me to confront the idea of motivation. Allow me to explain. The book was about the science behind meditation, written by a self-identified skeptic of the benefits. The aim was to convince the reader of all of the benefits of meditation and relieve them of any concerns about doing it perfectly. The author wanted to encourage…
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Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?: Defining and Challenging Imposter Syndrome

I saw my first private practice client over ten years ago. I had earned a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from a university I had wanted to attend since I was 12; I had completed my Master’s Degree and then worked as a therapist for 3,000 hours under a supervisor before taking and passing not one but two licensing exams, and I had participated in tons…
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When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…
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What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…
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How Do I Get Over a Breakup?: Tips for Coping with the End of a Relationship and Moving On

During one of my more devastating breakups, for days, I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the mornings to a pillow quite literally soaked with tears. I remember thinking that the pain may be similar to having an appendage forcibly removed. Reflecting on these details, they seem over the top, but these are my distinct memories of this time. I didn’t think I…
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image of a person being embraced by another

What Makes It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?: Why We Avoid Vulnerability and Why We Should Stop

During a particularly difficult month, I had dinner with a dear friend who was going through a heart-wrenching breakup. He told me the details about the dissolution of his relationship, and I was honored to support him. Then he asked me how I’d been doing. After hearing about his pain and fears about the future, I questioned how much I wanted to share. While I…
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​​Why Am I Afraid to Fail?: How Our Fear of Failure Can Hinder Growth

Why do we fear failure? When I began building my practice, I was excited. I was working a full-time job at a non-profit mental health center, tutoring and facilitating psychotherapy groups at an intensive outpatient program. My plate was already full, but I was eager to have my own practice so I could do the clinical work how I wanted to. As my practice grew,…
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How Do I Keep Going?: The Importance of Finding Joy (Even When Things Seem Hopeless)

When we started working on this article, things in our country and the world were swiftly crumbling, and I certainly felt the impact. And then last week happened, and it felt as though the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I was recently reminded, “intellectually knowing that something is coming does not prepare you for the devastation in the body when it hits,”…
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What is Intergenerational Trauma?: Understanding the Impacts of Intergenerational Trauma on Mental Health

A few weeks ago, my mother accompanied my children and me on an errand. We were in a familiar store, and my 6-year-old went up the escalator ahead of us and then walked off. My mother started to panic and stormed up the escalator, muttering that someone would take off with my daughter. At that moment, I, too, had felt unnerved but was trying to…
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How Do I Manage My Anger?: Tips for Emotional Regulation in a Time of Collective Moral Outrage

To say that these last few years have been difficult would be an understatement. In addition to living through the worst public health crisis this planet has seen for centuries, we’ve witnessed a global social justice movement aimed at combating various forms of systemic and institutionalized oppression that were further exposed by the pandemic, devastating humanitarian crises in Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Ukraine (just to…
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