relationship challenges

Why Do I Feel So Alone?: Understanding the Loneliness Epidemic and Cultivating Connection as the Antidote

I was recently on a retreat for work and decided to go early to have some time for myself. As a parent and partner, I later realized this was the longest time I’d been alone in years. I didn’t have anything planned, and it was raining and, at times, totally delightful. I read a whole book, walked in the rain, stopping whenever and wherever my…
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Will I Ever Trust Again?: Understanding the Cost of Betrayal and Conceptualizing Recovery from Betrayal Trauma

Romantic partners have betrayed my confidence, I have felt deeply hurt and wronged by the actions of trusted colleagues, and I have friends that I am no longer in contact with due to feeling betrayed. Not a single incident is easy to recall or write about, but I can still feel the sting and remember the nights spent ruminating. I would stay up trying to…
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How Do I Know if I Need Therapy?: Exploring the Benefits of Psychotherapy for Mental Health and Finding the Right Therapist

I have heard people say that therapy is a human right, and I have heard others call it a luxury. In Los Angeles, therapy can be costly if you’re hoping to see someone immediately or looking for a therapist with a specific specialization. Conversely, it can be really difficult to find a provider who is in-network with your insurance company and has availability (and availability…
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Do I Have ADHD?: Understanding ADHD, What It Looks Like, and How to Befriend It

This morning, I started making my bed. In the middle of making it, I looked at the closet and noticed that my overnight bag was in the wrong place, so I picked it up to put it away in the other room. On my walk to the other room, I noticed I hadn’t finished washing the dishes, so I put the bag down to clean…
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Why Do I Feel So Anxious in Social Situations?: Understanding Social Anxiety and Cultivating Connection

An old friend was recently in town, and we made plans to get together. I was nervous to see her and her partner; we hadn’t seen each other for years, and it meant a lot that we were connecting again. Then, during our time together, I made a joke that I quickly realized could be harmful. I felt my face turn red. I wasn’t sure…
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How Does Gaslighting Work?: Understanding Gaslighting and Learning to Trust Yourself Again

In my twenties, I was in an abusive relationship with a partner struggling with a substance use disorder. I didn’t know what was going on until I was way too deep into the relationship, and at the time, I didn’t know enough to get him (or myself) the support necessary. What I do know is that the relationship made me my worst self. My partner…
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When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…
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What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…
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Why Can’t I Love Myself?: Learning to Develop a Loving Relationship with Yourself

There have been periods in my life when I didn’t necessarily like myself, much less love myself. After brutal breakups, when I wasn’t accepted into the college of my choice (or any of the places I had applied to, to be honest), when I lose my temper or am unkind to someone I care about, and when I am just struggling. Showing myself love is…
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Two people sitting back to back with one facing the camera with a stern expression while the other looks away

How Do I Deal with Toxic Family Members?: The Mental and Emotional Toll of Navigating Harmful Family Relationships

In my family, we learned that blood is thicker than water. Our relationships with each other were to be prized, no matter the cost. So years ago, when I saw an Instagram post by another therapist I follow, a white one, suggesting that if you have a harmful family member, you should cut them out just like you would a malignant tumor, I was shocked!…
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