coping patterns

Will I Ever Trust Again?: Understanding the Cost of Betrayal and Conceptualizing Recovery from Betrayal Trauma

Romantic partners have betrayed my confidence, I have felt deeply hurt and wronged by the actions of trusted colleagues, and I have friends that I am no longer in contact with due to feeling betrayed. Not a single incident is easy to recall or write about, but I can still feel the sting and remember the nights spent ruminating. I would stay up trying to…
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How Do I Know if I Need Therapy?: Exploring the Benefits of Psychotherapy for Mental Health and Finding the Right Therapist

I have heard people say that therapy is a human right, and I have heard others call it a luxury. In Los Angeles, therapy can be costly if you’re hoping to see someone immediately or looking for a therapist with a specific specialization. Conversely, it can be really difficult to find a provider who is in-network with your insurance company and has availability (and availability…
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Do I Have ADHD?: Understanding ADHD, What It Looks Like, and How to Befriend It

This morning, I started making my bed. In the middle of making it, I looked at the closet and noticed that my overnight bag was in the wrong place, so I picked it up to put it away in the other room. On my walk to the other room, I noticed I hadn’t finished washing the dishes, so I put the bag down to clean…
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Why Can’t I Get Anything Done?: The Quest to Stay Motivated

Our team recently read a meditation book, which prompted me to confront the idea of motivation. Allow me to explain. The book was about the science behind meditation, written by a self-identified skeptic of the benefits. The aim was to convince the reader of all of the benefits of meditation and relieve them of any concerns about doing it perfectly. The author wanted to encourage…
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Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud?: Defining and Challenging Imposter Syndrome

I saw my first private practice client over ten years ago. I had earned a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from a university I had wanted to attend since I was 12; I had completed my Master’s Degree and then worked as a therapist for 3,000 hours under a supervisor before taking and passing not one but two licensing exams, and I had participated in tons…
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When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…
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What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…
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How Do I Get Over a Breakup?: Tips for Coping with the End of a Relationship and Moving On

During one of my more devastating breakups, for days, I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the mornings to a pillow quite literally soaked with tears. I remember thinking that the pain may be similar to having an appendage forcibly removed. Reflecting on these details, they seem over the top, but these are my distinct memories of this time. I didn’t think I…
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image of a person being embraced by another

What Makes It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?: Why We Avoid Vulnerability and Why We Should Stop

During a particularly difficult month, I had dinner with a dear friend who was going through a heart-wrenching breakup. He told me the details about the dissolution of his relationship, and I was honored to support him. Then he asked me how I’d been doing. After hearing about his pain and fears about the future, I questioned how much I wanted to share. While I…
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​​Why Am I Afraid to Fail?: How Our Fear of Failure Can Hinder Growth

Why do we fear failure? When I began building my practice, I was excited. I was working a full-time job at a non-profit mental health center, tutoring and facilitating psychotherapy groups at an intensive outpatient program. My plate was already full, but I was eager to have my own practice so I could do the clinical work how I wanted to. As my practice grew,…
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