Articles

Why Am I So Tired?: A Case for Rest

When I ask the people in my life how they’re feeling, one of the most common responses I receive is, “Tired.” And I can’t tell you how often I will set my sights on having an early night, only to find myself sitting in front of my laptop and television (simultaneously) way past my bedtime.  In our busy and hectic day-to-day lives, it has become…
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What is Toxic Positivity? And How to Respond to Your Feelings Instead

Even after years of doing this work, I’ve had moments when I am feeling sad or frustrated and I’ll catch myself thinking, “well, things could be worse!” While this seems pretty benign at first glance (or first thought…), I’ve come to understand how this falls under the umbrella of toxic positivity. What is toxic positivity? It’s the tendency to suppress, ignore, or disregard how one…
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How Can I Feel Safe?: Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Anxiety can be overwhelming. It can be hard to stay grounded and connect with ourselves when our heads are swimming, our hearts are pounding, and we’re drenched in sweat. In those moments, it can be difficult to soothe ourselves or find any sense of safety. Having a “grounding toolkit,” or strategies we’ve practiced ahead of time when we’re not feeling anxious, can make a huge…
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But What If It All Goes Right?: The Power of Imagination

When was the last time you thought about your imagination? If you’re anything like me, it may have been while playing pretend with your kids, or maybe laughing at the wild things they come up with while in imaginative play. The importance of imagination on a child’s development cannot be overemphasized. Children seem to have to play – it’s not a conscious decision they make,…
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Finding Clarity in an Uncertain Time

What Comes Next?: Finding Clarity in an Uncertain Time

I can’t count how many times I’ve read and heard the word “unprecedented” over the past fourteen months. The pandemic disrupted our routines, our jobs, the way we move about in the world, and for some, it may have disrupted our self-identities. Many of us may still be experiencing these disruptions, and feeling their after-effects. As the pandemic recedes, we may be wondering how to…
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Exploring the Power of Self-Reflection

How Can I Make The World A Better Place?: Exploring the Power of Self-Reflection

Growing up, many of us were taught that we can, and should, try to make the world a better place. I remember after-school programs that cheered us on to dream big things and to change the world. I myself became a therapist because I desired to help others; that was how I thought I would change the world. However, while the world is often a…
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Am I Growing or Staying the Same?

Am I Growing or Staying the Same?: Embracing the Incremental Nature of Change

Unlike other cities, in Los Angeles, the transition between winter and spring is not drastic. All the seasons seem to stop and start a few times. Right now, we’ve had a few days of rain, followed by weeks of full sun, then back again, at seemingly random intervals. And while the tree in my yard has new leaves that are starting to sprout, there are…
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Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?

Am I Codependent If I Enjoy Having My Needs Met & Meeting The Needs of Others?: Interdependence 101

What does it mean to “need” others (and to be needed in return) the exact right amount? Even though I’m a therapist myself, I’ve struggled with this in my own relationships. When I was younger, I sometimes relied on my romantic relationships for validation and sense of self, and was often crushed when I didn’t feel supported enough. Now, I’m in a different place: I’m…
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Getting Past the Inner Critic

Can I Move Towards My Goals While Resisting Perfectionism?: Getting Past the Inner Critic

This past fall, we moved some things around in our previously neglected backyard. We thought having a dedicated play space would help our kids, as well as afford us more breathing room during the pandemic. I began starting evenings with vision boards, shopping lists, and poring over Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for deals. I wanted to make sure anything we bought fit the greater “vision.”…
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Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

How Do We Keep Going In Hard Times?: Recognizing Our Own Resilience May Help

Our resilience increases as we recognize the magnitude of what we have already accomplished. -Patricia O’Gorman Do you remember last December? I do, but it feels like a million years away. This has been a year of many adjustments. Only a week ago, I felt like I was staring down the barrel of another lockdown. Today, I’m still reeling, but feel a glimmer of optimism…
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