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coping patterns

When Will I Feel Better?: Understanding and Combating Shame

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-image, , trauma, trauma therapy
As I prepared to work on this article, I tried to think about a time when I experienced shame that I could comfortably share to set the stage. Unsurprisingly, that prompted me to avoid working on the article for days… I was suddenly too hungry, tired, or distracted to write. It finally became clear to me that I didn’t want to share my major shame…
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What’s the Point of Crying?: The Benefits of Tears for Mental and Physical Well Being

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-image, , trauma, trauma therapy
I have always been sensitive. Growing up, that meant a lot of tears and, unfortunately, a lot of frustration on my parents’ part. “Why are you crying?” and “that’s nothing to cry about” were frequent refrains in my home. When most frustrated with me and my feelings, my mother would say, “I hope you don’t cry like that at my funeral.” So I spent many,…
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How Do I Get Over a Breakup?: Tips for Coping with the End of a Relationship and Moving On

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, coping patterns, depression, depression therapy, grief counseling, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-care, , trauma therapy
During one of my more devastating breakups, for days, I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the mornings to a pillow quite literally soaked with tears. I remember thinking that the pain may be similar to having an appendage forcibly removed. Reflecting on these details, they seem over the top, but these are my distinct memories of this time. I didn’t think I…
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image of a person being embraced by another

What Makes It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?: Why We Avoid Vulnerability and Why We Should Stop

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, , trauma therapy
During a particularly difficult month, I had dinner with a dear friend who was going through a heart-wrenching breakup. He told me the details about the dissolution of his relationship, and I was honored to support him. Then he asked me how I’d been doing. After hearing about his pain and fears about the future, I questioned how much I wanted to share. While I…
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​​Why Am I Afraid to Fail?: How Our Fear of Failure Can Hinder Growth

anxiety counseling, anxiety therapy, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, , trauma therapy
Why do we fear failure? When I began building my practice, I was excited. I was working a full-time job at a non-profit mental health center, tutoring and facilitating psychotherapy groups at an intensive outpatient program. My plate was already full, but I was eager to have my own practice so I could do the clinical work how I wanted to. As my practice grew,…
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How Do I Keep Going?: The Importance of Finding Joy (Even When Things Seem Hopeless)

anxiety counseling, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, depression, depression therapy, trauma, trauma therapy
When we started working on this article, things in our country and the world were swiftly crumbling, and I certainly felt the impact. And then last week happened, and it felt as though the rug was pulled out from under my feet. I was recently reminded, “intellectually knowing that something is coming does not prepare you for the devastation in the body when it hits,”…
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What is Intergenerational Trauma?: Understanding the Impacts of Intergenerational Trauma on Mental Health

anxiety counseling, communication challenges, coping patterns, culturally affirming therapy, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-image, trauma, trauma therapy
A few weeks ago, my mother accompanied my children and me on an errand. We were in a familiar store, and my 6-year-old went up the escalator ahead of us and then walked off. My mother started to panic and stormed up the escalator, muttering that someone would take off with my daughter. At that moment, I, too, had felt unnerved but was trying to…
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How Do I Manage My Anger?: Tips for Emotional Regulation in a Time of Collective Moral Outrage

communication challenges, coping patterns, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-care, self-image, trauma
To say that these last few years have been difficult would be an understatement. In addition to living through the worst public health crisis this planet has seen for centuries, we’ve witnessed a global social justice movement aimed at combating various forms of systemic and institutionalized oppression that were further exposed by the pandemic, devastating humanitarian crises in Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Yemen, and Ukraine (just to…
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Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?: How Our Attachment Styles Can Impact Our Relationships

communication challenges, coping patterns, family challenges, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, relationship challenges, self-image, trauma
I’ll be honest, when I decided to pursue a career as a therapist, one of the motivating factors was the desire to better understand myself and my own relationship patterns. Yes, I wanted to offer others support and care, but I also wanted to learn how to better engage with others and finally figure out why I was drawn to the same type of dating…
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Should I Start a Diet?: Rethinking Your Relationship with Your Body

coping patterns, family dynamics, poor self-esteem, self-care, self-image
While it may not have been the first time I was critical of my body, the first time I remember being critical of my body, or of objectifying my own body, is when I was 8-years-old. I was watching something on TV and it was definitely not a show for children. On the show, the it-girl started talking about her weight loss, going as far…
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